Making Space to Dream
Last week during golden hour on a Tuesday, I found myself thinking of dreaming and I realised, many of us have never let ourselves dream beyond the ground. We have not let ourselves dream beyond our childhood experiences, our environments, our fear of the concrete shifting beneath our feet. Myself included.
In relationships, I learnt to dream only of a man that is kind and tells me the truth. I did not dream of romance or sprinkles, family building, deep intimacy, fidelity, whipped cream and loving conflict. In my career I have dreamt of helping just one person do well with their mental health. I have not dreamt of a widespread impact or success. In my relationships I have dreamt only of two healthy friendships that work well. I have not dreamt of a full community where love and laughter is routinely sliced and shared between all to enjoy. In my finances I have dreamt only of having enough to make it through. I have not dreamt of wealth that creates opportunities, blesses others and leaves bellies full.
Standing in a pool of honey sun, I realised I had limited my dreams to only what is immediately functional. I did that not only because I did not perceive that bigger dreams were for me because of where I had come from, but also because I had feared it. I had feared dreaming bigger because I equate big dreams with selfish ambition. Why should I want more than what is needed? I have feared that dreaming beyond the basics means I’ve become power hungry or that I’ve lost sight of what the real focus is. I despise the idea of being financially successful without loving community and peace in my heart or being romanced and not respected enough to be told the truth. I despise the idea of dreaming of the big things and neglecting the small. The question in my heart now however, is, do I have to dream of only one or the other?
I no longer believe so. This month I’m giving myself space to dream wider than I thought I could, and giving myself permission to shape the world into its image and to take small steps towards it’s actualisation. I’m still cautious though, checking my heart to see whether what I’ve dreamt of is rooted in ego, vengeance, the influence of luxury instagram, escapism, a desire to heal a childhood wound, a desire to be greater than others. I don’t want to dream of a life based on the wrong foundations. I’m praying instead that my dreams are inspired by the Most High, are rooted in love, inspired by creativity and rooted in the desire to see us all live well, to live a radically different world, where all of us have space to be, thrive, live, enjoy, experience abundance and joy even through loss.
If this resonates with you, you might also want to give yourself the permission and space to dream a little bigger too. Give yourself the space to consider the possibilities, to shift out of fear towards dreaming of yourself existing in spaces you had never allowed yourself to dream of before, of having experiences you thought belonged to people better than you, to imagine life as different. Draw a mind-map of the things that you always thought were impossible, whatever that looks like to you. It doesn’t mean you have to dream of being Oprah — that is the other extreme, dreaming of a bigger life because you feel you have to and dreaming up someone else’s life that doesn’t fit who you are. For you dreaming bigger might mean dreaming of being more confident, more outspoken, of being in loving relationships and cultivating loving homes. Whatever it looks like for you, dream it.
My prayer is that those of us who have been afraid to dream, we will have the confidence and the means to dream wider. We will dream beyond our fears and around the structural barriers we perceive, and we will not let those dictate our realities. Our dreams will be informed by our reality and our reality will be informed by our dreams. We will not force our dreams into goals and visions before their time. I pray that this year, we will have our head in the clouds and that when the time comes, we will not be afraid to pull those clouds down into our laps, shake them out, and make life out of them.
